Super Nike, right?
But as I registered for the rookie hockey league at Lakewood Ice, I was overwhelmed with fear.
Am I good enough?
What about my left hamstring (bless it for growing and securing itself to my titanium ass bone anchors)
What if my team is full of guys who know how to play?
What if my team has that chick on it, who didn't like my chirping, and has a vendetta against me?
SO many what ifs.
But you know what?
What ifs are life blockers. Screw that.
I signed up for rookie (beer league) hockey; and I did it all by myself.
My husband has long since moved on and up and is now playing Tin at Paramount Ice.
To be clear - he is ridiculously on board with my playing rookie! He's like stupid cute, answering all of my questions. Like stupid, hot cute.
I am on my own on this team and in this league. My first game was last night, and I was so nervous I spent a good amount of time in the bathroom.
I am all about woman empowerment. Yet here I was, nervous to join a team of mostly guys. I was scared I would not be good enough. Strong enough. Confident enough.
And that upset me. My life goal is to help women recognize their strength. Yet, when I am in a position to stand up and be strong, I find myself fearful.
I realize now that empowerment, strength, compassion and power are not results of fearlessness, but are results of fearfulness being directed by purpose.
Being fearful is not weakness.
Acting while understanding your fear is POWERFUL.
We will never break free if we act in fear. We will only be free, when we act DESPITE our fear.
So on the ice, I played HARD. I learned. I listened. I gave my team (men & women) the opportunity to teach me. And it was amazing. And we are a better team because of it.
There is no room for fear. Fear is a scare tactic. Growth? Learning? Questioning? Those actions are how you become who you want to be.
Go forward. Be scared. But do it anyways.
And feel free to chirp - let the guys you're up against know you're there and you're not backing down.